Posts Tagged ‘Funny Sex Toy Reviews’
Sparkle Teddy
looks great on, i hv a “mommy tummy” and it covers that but accents all the sexy parts!! only thing is we found so many sparkles in the bed the next morning, they come off pretty easily
ok peep this i got this for my wife that it was huge from all the comments, heard horse, pepsi can etc. so i thought , cooool im gonna get this, explained to the wifey how big it was in dimension and her comment was oh sounds like you honey..im humble and with comments here, i thought no its not like me and guess what…its exactly like me lol…which is pretty cool since this is cheaper then clone-a-willy. so tonight im going to use it on her while getting oral…plan on filming it and it such be fun,,,will update after that 
chhers
Vibrating BoyShorts
I boogh this for my wife to use whenever. She loves to wear these while she is hanging around the house. The only downfall is that they have one speed and no other way to turn it on/off other than to stick your and down your pants or up your skirt. which when your in public is a little weird. Other than that, it works great for her.
I bought this and saved it for a rainy day. When that day came a few weeks ago I could have kicked myself in the vulva for not trying it sooner.
posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood Admin
Ace of Spades Gumdrop Butt Plug
Ace of Spades Butt Plug
I admit to thinking I’d be able to take this when buying….but it really IS that big. it’s bigger than a lightbulb, bigger than most pillar candles around…it’s BIG. It’s now used for decoration in a student house with a scared face on it.
Initially, this item does a great job. However, my junk ripped this to shreds in about 5 uses. And I am an old white guy, only average size and hardness.
We just love it. very powerful. we nicknamed it “thor’s hammer”
16 Function Super Rabbit Vibrator
I got one for my girlfriend for her birthday and she loves it,7 orgasms in 15 minutes. now I get frozen popcicle blowjobs whenever she uses it!
These were interesting. They were a little to loud to where in public, which is fine. I where them while cleaning the house, and my house is always clean now!
Booty Camp Camisole
Tried ordering something ‘family friendly’, however this one is another see-thru item. Could not tell this by the photo, would not have ordered otherwise.
posted by Your Friendly Neighborhood Admin
Put the ourfit on and had some of the best sex ever lol….hubby loves it and even though it was a little confusing on how to put it on it was worth every cent. hubby changed his myspace mood from horny to satisfied lol
Satin Seduction Teddy
My wife looked so hot in this that I just lost control right there once I saw it on her. The quality and strength of the material was great too because I did not damage it as I tore it off of her half way through the night…
love how it turns inside out to clean- a great toy for car trips, as it is containing…
by Kat
put down the vibrator, Kat. Put down the vibrator, Kat. You need to take care of other things. This is just too good for words.
Emperor Vibrating Dildo
This thing is too big and the vibration is like a light breeze blowing in redwood forest. The veins are too bumpy and the actual material of the product is not supple. Overall, too much money for a lousy product.
This might work great for a turtle’s penis.
posted by Master Bates
Deluxe Rotating Wallbangers Rabbit Vibrator
By Horney Ole Granny
This is my first vibe ever. Would recommend it to anyone thinking of getting one. Those ears,WOW. Most satisfaction I’ve had in years. Who needs the real thing when you have this. I just hope my kids find a little humor in finding it when they clean out my house when I am gone.
Jenna's Double Play Vibrator
Vibration is an absolute joke. I could honestly get a better vibration from my cell phone. Am terribly dissapointed in this item and would return it if it were possible. Would not suggest this to anyone….ever!!! Find something else…anything else!!!
WHen I seen this item I knew I had to get. Then when it got here I was like, great this s*** is tiny, but when I used it I was like BOY this is large.
I put the dvd around bed time and went and watch TV in the family room. I let my wife go to bed 1st… well, about 20 minutes later she attacked and it was awesome. She turn it back on when I was getting up for work… Needless to say, I was late for work…
Partners Pleasure Rings
This is a must have in your toy box. Works great, very versatile. Pleasurable for my wife and I. A very quiet vibration….the kids will never know whats going on.
This is the best little toy ever made! It is a must have for anyone who likes sex. It really hits the “SPOT”! Buy it, you will be soooooo glad you did!!!
Named it MAX…cause it really lives up to the name…lol
Lucid Dream 14 G Spot Vibrator
Tried this out once or twice didnt quite do the job via missionary masturbation…However I tried it from the rear (me in doggie style position) and OH BOY!!!!! I came like never before twice…and soaked my carpet!
posted by Master Bates
This chair is awesome… my friend ordered it for me, it is a little hard at first, but nice and big. The vibes are awesome. The chair is a little sticky at first (being that plastic material) but after you get it wet, so good for sliding and just going back and forth. I used this a few times now and it is a workout. You will be sweating like a beast when u are done. Such a workout. And my legs were so soar the next few days. It is a great change from just a plain old dildo. I used it online for my marine over seas and he luved watching it.
Tickle His Pickle Oral Sex Tips
We used it together, husband likes to pick out what he wants, almost like a menu. We have been together for 20 years, and this just breathed some new life into our lives. Thank you.
WOW!!! Thats the reaction my husband and myself both got when we used the Prolong Ring. We did notice that if you put it on during forplay instead of after he was erect, it went on easier and stayed on. Remember as with any “toy”, lube does make things slippery and maybe come off, so if using lube then we recommend putting on before erect and before adding lube! My husband staqyed harder longer and would recommend this Prolong Ring to everyone to try!!! The name of the product says it all… GREAT ITEM!!!! Try before you judfge this item…. Its like that ice cream song: SCRUMPDILLYISHOUS!!!!!!!
these tasted soooo bad. my dog wouldnt even eat it n she eats everything shes not suppose to!
Senso Pak of Cock Rings
These might have been great except for the fact that I could not fit them on my penis.. I had to wrestle it over the tip, then I damn near had to cut it to get it off… not good if you have a thick penis….
posted by Master Bates
Pearl White G Spot Vibrator
This is a great g-spot vibe. After only a few minutes of stimulation from the vibe and my husband licking my butt I squirted ALL over our new couch!! I also lost control of ALL bodily function making a complete mess! One interesting note. My hubby likes it too for prostate massage. When he has orgasm, he also gets weak kneed and loses control of bodily function. This makes a real mess. Is this common? Now he and I douche beforehand. This is one AMAZING product!!
Erection Maker Pleasure Cock Ring
This thing was more like a torture device than a pleasureable sex toy.After I eventually got it on,it felt like I just placed my penis in hot coals of a camp fire.
I love this little thing so much, I am using it as i type this! The way it massages the prostate is awesome. I definitely suggest this for any guy who enjoys the pleasure of a prostate massage, alone or during intercourse.
my wifes breasts are like brees…so we had fun watching it together…
Hot Seat Vibrator Sex Toy
I bought one and it came in the mail while i was at work and when i got home my husbands harley was in the drive way so i knew he was home when i walked in the door i could not find till i walked in the bedroom and he was riding the hell out of the hot seat i asked if i could try and he said get your own and i didnt even know he liked anal sex he says it is a great item could have bigger vibe
i guess you could say the game was fun…. we laughed more than being all serious and turned on. i bought it for a surprise on our 2nd anniversary in jamaica, we ended up having better things to do, if you know what i mean.
posted by Master Bates
Triple Luxe Vibrator
In one word AWESOME. This toy is the best. Love everything about it. I can wear it and no one knows. I like to put it in while my hubby is driving. Drives him crazy.
it does what it claims. it does take alittle work to get the results. i found that pumping it up or out as it is.for awhile then releasing the vacuum for alittle bit then pumping it again mas more comfortable.after awhile could pump all it would. added alot of girth and some lenght. i trimed the small part of the innertube back some it works just as well and is easier to remove. i sent a pic of the results to an old girlfreind and she cheated on her boyfreind for a ride…nuff said…
Hearts Squirmy Vibrator
My boyfriend and I both call this toy “a useless hunk of silicone.” The shaft may as well not even move. I was more than disappointed in that. Furthermore, the vibrating part does not provide any stimulation for me at all. The material collects EVERYTHING!! I cannot even dry it off with a towel because towel lint sticks to it. It is constantly covered in cat hair. Also, though it is not advertised on the website, the packaging says that the toy is “virtually silent,” but it is SO LOUD that my roommate knocked on my door while I was using it, wondering what the noise was. I was beyond mortified. Overall, this thing is a complete waste of money. DO NOT BUY IT! You WILL be disappointed.
Eve’s Slim Pink Pleaser Vibrator
This vibrator worked wonders for me. I have been married for 2 years and had not EVER had an orgasm until I got this vibrator!!! I am so excited, and my sex life with my husband has skyrocketed!! Thanks adameve.com.
2 years? I’m surprised she hasn’t called the divorced lawyer before now.
posted by Master Bates
She did not know what was being delivered, but once tried it out, all i got was a text message in caps saying ORGASMIC. This one item still has not been taken out of the bed. Good buy.
Triple Play Pleaser Glass Dildo
The nile flows when he plays with me with this toy.
Play while you work. These took cleaning house to a new level.
Perfectly Pink Cybersilicone Vibrator
my wife used it and went crazy the vib was excellant, she came so hard it shot out of her and she had the shakes for such a long time
So often my wife and I need to be quiet during sex because the kids are home. When we really want to put it in overdrive (when the kids are gone) I apply a few drops to her. She goes off like a bottle rocket!
posted by Master Bates
Jelly Wild Rider Vibrator
My lady friend and I like to name our sex toys. when we ordered the “Jelly Wild Rider”, we decided to call it whatever “Bunny” uttered when it gave her the first orgasm. The Jelly Wild Rider is now named, “OMG”!
Mystery Toy
Makes more noise than the neighbors car feels good though
Realistic 9” Big Boy with Balls Dildo
This thing is good for women with stretched out, worn out holes. If you are tight and intact, this is not the one for you. This thing is ridiculously large, hard to use and downright uncomfortable. It is in the trash! A complete waste of money.
Adam & Eve Micro-Mini One Touch Vibrator
I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I bought this based on the positive reviews of other customers. This product is gumball machine quality. Mine never worked even when I replaced all the batteries. I plan on returning it.
My husband and I are big,people and this was so not right. This toy is suppost to make you(us) feel sexy,instead it made me feel. Fat and undesirable. Kind of like clothes shopping, but worse!
posted by Master Bates
OMGoosness, The first time i opened this was to smell it and somehow i spilled it all over the place, it was all over one side of my face and on my neck and down my chest. IT did not tingle it burned to the point where the next day at work- over 16 hours later it was still red and burnt. It hurt! We did try it out-thinking it would be better in a small amount. WRONG! my b/f jumped up and was almost screaming.They chould change the name fomr tingle gel to freakin burn your pubes off gel.!
This baby is out of this world! Keeps me SO satisfied that it is constantly in use! Only downfall-if you could call it that- is it is a little loud. However, I scream louder!!
This is my wives third kind of rabbit type toy.
She is an orgasmic freak. This toy takes her to never never land, if you know what I mean. This is by far the best one. The turned up end for g spot stimulation is an added bounes. The only draw backs are the smell of the rubber, witch we hope wis only because it is new. The motor is really noisy where the pearls rotate. She loves for me to tie her to the bed then use it on her until she is to the point of passing out. Great toy every women should have one or two.
Front door, back door, this is the absolute best there is. I bought this vibrator because I’m a serious back door girl, but when I tried it vaginally, I was seeing stars. I have LOTS of toys, but you really can NOT go wrong with this one.
I bought this set to try with my husband. What a WASTE! We’ve only tried one so far (the one in the middle), and it was miserable for him and excrutiating for me. I don’t know why it’s called a “tickler”, when it’s the complete opposite. It is hard, not soft. It felt like we were shoving a cactus into my vagina. Even after we got it inserted, it never felt any better. Don‘t waste your money.
i got this because a friend was getting married, we played so many games with this at the bridal shower….puts a new meaning to bridal shower i promise.
posted by Master Bates
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