Adam & Eve's Broken Headboards

Okay, well it’s not like I really mean that. I mean more – ORAL SEX IS SO DAMN GOOD – it’s really a bad idea to get used to something that simulates it. In my opinion, there is nothing that simulates eating pussy. NOTHING. The feeling of a cool mouth on your hot pussy. A wet mouth sucking at your clit; maybe even a few fingers rubbing at your g-spot – THERE IS NOTHING (in my opinion) THAT CAN SIMULATE THAT.

Now, men, you’ve got it lucky. If you add lube (warming, silicone or waterbased lube) you can easily come close to a blow job. And if we get into the nitty details, I’m sure the odds are in your favor if you use a stroker sex toy on yourself. Women aren’t likely to line up and be willing to give you head. Well, that is, presuming you aren’t Evan Stone, Steven St Croix or Tommy Gunn. If you’re ye-olde-regular-Joe, then you’re more likely to get head from a sex toy than you are from a real life girl. (However, if you are the latter, and can get head whenever you want, please, drop me a line!)

And women, I’m NOT suggesting you go out and find some random dude to eat you out. There are plenty of them out there (believe me!) but quantity is not quality. If you are just looking for a quick orgasm, finding a random guy (or gal) might be most convenient, but at the end of the day you’ll have some extra person taking up room in your bed or have to deal with the post-coital stress of kicking them out. Plus there lots of STDs in this world that you can contract from oral sex. Yeah, I’m a bit paranoid about the STDs.

What was I talking about? Oh right, oral sex.

Oral sex is really very nice ladies. I have dreams about it on a regular basis. Some men might say they’re “experts” but, really, don’t let that fool you. It doesn’t matter what he’s done with 1, 10 or 100 other girls; we’re talking about you. You are different from all those other women. The way you like oral sex is the way you like oral sex. There’s no wrong answer here. If you don’t like it, tell him, teach him what makes you come. If you fake it, he will not learn and you’ll have to fake it a lot!

I blame previous women who fake it for all those men out there who think they’re awesome in bed, but in reality, suck.

And that’s what I’m saying about a sex toy. It can’t change to fit you like a partner can. A sex toy just can’t do that. (Which is why sex toys will never replace your partner, they’ll just enhance his/her abilities!) You may as well get a rabbit vibrator that has the ability to stimulate you all over. Or even a bullet vibrator for clitoral stimulation, the constant buzz is more likely to feel better than a toy flapping at your clit over and over and over and over…

So what I’m saying is this: Get yourself a sex toy that pleases you. Don’t succumb to hype. Oral sex on a woman is REALLY HARD to imitate, so why settle for something like that? Rabbit vibrators, clitoral vibrators, g-spot vibrators – these have all been invented and proved the test of time to please women.

Oh yeah, and Adam & Eve carries lots of vibrators and sex lube to get you through this dry spell. And with a 90 day money back guarantee (no questions asked!), you can’t go wrong if you want to try something new out.

16 Function Super Rabbit Vibrator

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 6:32 pm by Allison, and is filed under Strange Thoughts and Ideas.
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Tags: clitoral stimulation, Oral Sex, Rabbit Vibrators, Sex Toys