Adam & Eve's Broken Headboards

Walk into any neighborhood bar, buy yourself a beer, and before you can finish it you’re guaranteed to hear another guy talking about his woman nagging him about something.  All guys talk about it, but not many guys know what to do about it.  Here are some suggestions to help you find other ways to deal with nagging besides hitting the bottle at the local watering hole.

1.  Agree With Her

By acknowledging the validity of her complaints, you’ll buy yourself some valuable time.  This won’t solve the problem, but she’ll feel pleased that you finally see things her way.

2.  Tune It Out

When she cranks up the volume of her nagging, crank up the volume of your stereo or, better yet, just zone out altogether.  Be forewarned, however, that nagging is a lot like the clap; ignoring it won’t make it go away.

3.  Pick Your Battles

Know when a battle is worth fighting and when it is better to surrender.  If she complains about you leaving dishes in the sink, not taking out the trash and six other offenses, surrender and take care of business.  Then later, when she finds four other things to nag about, show her you did all of the things she harassed you about earlier.  She’ll be so pleased with your effort that you might be able to go a full day without hearing more nagging.

4.  Attempt A Preemptive Strike

If her biggest issue is the mess you leave when the boys come over for poker night, make an effort to clean it before she has a chance to open her cave-sized trap.  We know, it sounds almost too easy, but taking five minutes to clean up after yourself can save you from three hours of mind-numbing, soul-crushing, ball-stomping nagging.

5.  Give Deadlines & Meet Them

You’re watching the game and she starts nagging you about changing the light bulb in the kitchen.  Assure her that it will be done during halftime — and then do it.  In the future, she’ll know there’s no need to nag you because you will come through on your promise.

6.  Hug Her & Make A Move

Next time she kicks the whining into high gear, grab her and kiss her affectionately and try to divert her attention.  Over time, she’ll equate nagging with romantic interludes.  Hey, if it worked for Pavlov’s dog, it might just work for you!

7.  Surprise Her

Derail all of her arguments with a sudden and unexpected act of kindness.  Bring her flowers, cook her dinner or, if the situation is dire enough, agree to watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.  In short, do something so romantic and out of character that she’ll suddenly forget that you haven’t taken down the Christmas lights since 1995.

8.  Communicate

Let’s be honest:  Communication is probably not your strongest point.  The next time she starts nagging, ask her to take a five minute time-out and consider whether she’s truly angry about your lack of cleanliness or whether there’s a bigger issue at hand.  Maybe she feels that you don’t spend enough time with her.  Maybe she thinks that refusal to clean the bathroom will invite the plague into your house.  Chances are there is something bigger on her mind, and this might bring it to light.

9.  Turn The Tables On Her

It’s a fact that nobody is perfect — although Kayden Kross does come awfully close.  So, when she starts nagging about your personal faults and habits,. tell her that she also has bad habits that you’d like to see her quit.  Keep in mind that most women have the self-esteem of a porcelain cat, so use tact when outlining her list of faults.  Better yet, try to avoid being in the same room altogether if you can.

10. Show Her The Alternative

Life is a matter of perspective.  Sure, you might be a beer-guzzling, belching slob, but remind her that you’re not as bad as your buddies.  Invite your most uncouth friends over for dinner to show her how lucky she is to have you.

11. Tell Her To Take It Or Leave It

If she nags about the fact that you work late or that she doesn’t want you to see your best friend, tell her that there are some things in your life that she will have to accept if she loves you.  Given the choice of accepting some minor things or losing you altogether, she’ll most likely deal with it.  But, if she decides to leave, she wasn’t worth keeping anyway.

12. Take A Break

By just taking a break from one another, you will be able to appreciate the qualities that brought you together in the first place.

13. Leave

You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.  If the nagging gets out of hand and you find that you’re more miserable with her than without her, maybe it’s time to find a woman who will appreciate you for who you really are.

14. Shape Up

Maybe, just maybe, there’s some truth at the root of her incessant complaining.  Granted, nagging is a horrible way of communicating, but maybe she does have a point about you hanging your underwear on the lampshades and maybe is has been weeks since you took the trash out.  Listen to what she’s saying and see if you can address the things that concern her the most.  If you can’t (or won’t) change your habits, you can always arrive at an alternative, like hiring a maid.  Better yet, a French maid.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 14th, 2009 at 12:03 pm by Dick Dangle, and is filed under Adam & Eve, Strange Thoughts and Ideas.
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Tags: Women